Contrary to recent rumors, the Jewel Lodging House (16 Nicollet Mall, then 16 Bridge Square) did not burn to the ground, there was only comparatively little fire damage resulting from the inferno that hit the Shea Fruit Company next door.

If travelers are looking for a convivial night’s rest, they should avoid the Friendly Inn (25 Nicollet Mall) where the recent barroom slashing took place.  Likewise, it is recommended to turn away from the Nicollet Avenue Lodging House (117 Nicollet Mall) as long as they have that Miss Ewing there as a guest. If you find the performing of mock suicides distasteful, look for a different lodging venue.

The owner of the Merchants Hotel (312 Nicollet Mall) is a drunk, but this should not necessarily inconvenience guests since he is most often drinking in area dive bars or passed out in the gutter.  However, hotel guests may have been a bit put off, when he shot himself dead in his hotel room.  On the other hand, his recent demise creates a vacancy to meet the demand for hotel rooms.

Fire escapes would be a nice addition to Ambrose Boarding House (629 Nicollet Mall).  Perhaps the proprietors may now be building one after they nearly lost their own lives to a recent fire.